I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
