Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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