If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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