You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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