paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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