why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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