you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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