as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
