OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
high people should be assigned attendants
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
