tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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