I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize