in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
