This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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