I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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