he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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