woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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