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• (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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• (518): View more from New York

  I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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• (315): View more from New York

  apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,

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• (714): View more from California

  The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.

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• (925): View more from California

  His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning

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