i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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