i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize