Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
