I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
