i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When are your genitals available?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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