i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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