tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
