I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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