The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize