She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize