we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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