Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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