I am in a vortex of obligation.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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