Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize