drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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