i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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