so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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