real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
