My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
