I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
