She's JV to your varsity
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
