I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
