dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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