I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
