ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
