Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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