haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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