Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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