I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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