There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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