I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
