we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
