OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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