I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
