Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
