First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
