Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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