i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
