i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
