Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize