I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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