I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
