what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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