she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
