ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
