the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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