When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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