I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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