My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
